8 Steps to Negotiating Pay

Powerfully negotiating is an exercise in speaking up yourself.

Speaking up, holding our ground and honoring what is true for ourselves is what allows us to be in command and proud about the direction of our life and career. When we accept a salary offer that we feel is far from what we want or deserve, we risk eroding our confidence. Compromising without negotiating almost always leads to resentment with ourselves and our employer (or client for that matter).

This is why evolving how we relate to negotiation is important. In this article I focus on the “money talks’’ — salary negotiations, rate increases and the like. But, it is also important to cultivate negotiation skills in all places and spaces we need (or will need) to speak up.

In my work with clients, I teach that there are 8 steps for negotiating pay. Some steps are self reflective while others are tactical.

Frameworks are useful. However, it is important to take the time to understand and challenge your relationship to negotiation before embarking on having one. How/what we think about something determines the results that we get. And oftentimes we are just flat out oblivious to the familial and societal messages that we have absorbed and how they impact our beliefs and actions.

I have found that in order to be good at negotiating and even applying the 8 steps I outline below, one has to have a positive association with the concept and a relationship with money that allows them to not only advocate for financial betterment but also believe that they deserve it.

8 Steps for Negotiating Pay

1.Get clear on what you bring to the table. A good negotiator knows what they offer. Make a list of your past accomplishments and your credentials. Then, think about the future. What do you want to contribute to the organization? What projects, initiatives and results do you want to get involved in? What will be their impact?

2.Do your research. The more information you have the better you will be able to negotiate. Research the salaries and going rates for your role and industry. Look at trend and market information that impacts your industry. Is there anything happening the current climate that will impact the value of your role in the organization? Later on, your analysis of this research will help anchor your reasoning for why you are commanding the salary that you want.

3.Understand the total package. Often we get stuck on the salary number and don’t consider the whole package. Many times clients will get to this step and realize that the total compensation package gets them, albeit “indirectly” to their salary goals. Other times, they realize that they would be better suited to negotiate for more soft benefits like paid time off. Before going into a negotiation, get clear on how the total compensation package available to you impacts your salary expectations. Consider if based on your personal circumstances (having a baby, turning 55, etc...), it makes sense to negotiate for other types of compensation instead of simply more money.

4.Put a number on it. Review your lists from Step 1, digest your research and consider your ideal mix of compensation.

Now, tell the truth — what is your ideal salary number?

Sometimes when I ask clients this question they get worried and rationalize why they should ask for a salary that is less than their ideal.

Don’t do this! The point of Steps 1–3 is to help you get to your truth. If your truth is that you deserve a bigger base or a different bonus structure, own it. If you don’t tell the truth and get comfortable speaking up for what you want you will never actually get it.

5.Decide what you will stand for during the negotiation. Taking some time to think through the negotiation and what you are willing to stand for will help you to maintain a power position during your talks.

First, describe what you want on the other side of the negotiation. To feel proud? To feel like you stood your ground or that you impressed yourself?

Next, write down what I call your negotiation guardrails — where are you willing to budge and where are you not? The guardrails are there to be supportive and keep you honest with yourself. They should include the hard details like your salary number, sign on bonus, etc.. and the soft details like company’s willingness to hear your ask and how you expect to be treated during the negotiation.

Keep in mind that negotiating for the sake of negotiating won’t help your cause, in fact it can hurt it. And, tolerating poor behavior from the company or caving when there is a bit of resistance won’t make you feel proud.

6.Get your mind right. Negative thoughts (and feelings) will sabotage even the best strategy. To make sure you go into your negotiation ready to knock it out of the park, write down any visceral reaction you have to the compensation that you want to ask for or to the process of negotiation itself. Then one by one, refute each thought.

Next, consider how you are going to respond to push back or rejection? How are you going to choose to feel if you get a no?

Doing these exercises preemptively will help you be emotionally prepared for the discussions and they will also help you re-frame how you approach negotiations.

7.Prepare for and have the Initial Conversation. Preparation is a key ingredient to success. Taking the time to mindfully decide how you want the conversation to go and practicing it will ensure you walk away from the negotiation feeling proud even if you don’t get the salary that you want.

I suggest that the conversation have 3 main components: The Frame, The Business Case and The Next Steps.

The Frame is the setup and the why.

The Business Case is the core of your negotiation. In this part of the conversation you will present all the information that was compiled in Steps 1 to 3.

The Next Steps will outline what to expect after the initial conversation. It is tempting, but don’t skimp on establishing a thorough set of Next Steps. Since negotiations are two-sided there will be back and forth and therefore, it is important to establish how both parties should proceed in the time and space between the initial discussion and the conclusion of the negotiation.

Here is an example of the conversation outline I recommend:

1.The Frame: Why you are having the discussion.

2.The Business Case: Information from Step 1 Your previous value/contributions. Your vision for the future and how you plan to add value. The salary you want and the research from Step 2 to support it. Additional information such as market data to support your ask

3. Next Steps: What the process will look like. How long it will take to hear back.Who should contact who. When a follow up conversation should be scheduled.

8.Practice Patience. Negotiations take time especially in large bureaucratic organizations where the process is slow. It is important to not jump to conclusions (positive or negative) too soon. Depending on a litany of factors, negotiations can vacillate from multiple conversations in quick succession to weeks of time passing by with no responses.

Be patient, hold your ground and honor your negotiation guardrails (see Step 5).

Bonus: If you are asking for a salary increase and it gets declined, get curious as to why you got a no. Ask your boss to share what they can. If it is your performance, create a plan and timeline with your manager to address what needs to be improved. Set up deliverables and metrics for when you should have the next salary increase conversation.

Last but not least, ask a friend or mentor to help you practice these steps. If you feel like your mindset needs some work, find a coach or therapist to help you address your narratives about money and negotiations.