You’re Successful, Now What?

Success is a wonderful thing, but what happens after we attain such huge milestones? Well, it turns out it is not always as fulfilling as we would like to imagine.

If you are reading this, chances are you are one of the lucky few that have figured out how to accomplish what the rest of us are gunning for: ultimate success.

When we think about success at this level, two major milestones come to mind: financial independence and dominion over our time. For those of us who have yet to hit these milestones, the idea of not needing to worry about money or not having to trade our precious hours for dollars sounds like an absolute dream.

But what happens after we attain such huge milestones? Well, it turns out it is not always as fulfilling as we would like to imagine.

I have worked with quite a few clients who have achieved high levels of success. Some have made their money thanks to the sale of their business, others have created companies that can run on auto pilot and many have transitioned from large corporate jobs to focus on passions and philanthropic projects.

Whatever their path to “freedom” was, resoundingly these clients all struggle with figuring out how to be, move and grow personally and professionally in the wake of their success.

Even if you have not achieved financial freedom or dominion over your time (yet), you might be able to relate to this interesting conundrum if you have achieved a big milestone that you have been working toward. For example, first time parents, new entrepreneurs and retirees can all struggle with adjusting to their new realities and may feel more bewildered than fulfilled after the initial feelings of elation calm down.

Okay, so you are successful, what do you do now?

Well first, let me offer a pre-step: celebrate!

Many people (myself included) tend to skip over this step. Instinct will force us to live in anticipation of the future. As tempting and natural as that instinct is, it is important to live in the moment after such a huge win.

Give yourself ample time to enjoy what you have created. No, I don’t just mean go to a great dinner or buy yourself something nice or take a vacation. I mean truly slow down, reflect, and cherish what you made happen. A good strategy is to actively design a blend of celebratory activities and commemorations (poignant moments and /or gestures) over a period of time to fully cement and embrace the win you achieved.

Okay… then what?

After the celebration comes the process of re-imagining. Big achievements are usually life altering and as such we need to decide how we want to live (be, operate, move) in our new reality.

In addition, when we are engulfed with accomplishing something big it usually takes up so much of our time and energy that once we accomplish “it” a wave of emptiness may settle in leaving us feeling restless or as if something is wrong.

The process of re-imagining ourselves consists of 3 exercises that combat such feelings and help us articulate new purposes and passions which facilitate the transition from one phase of our lives to another.

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You’re Successful, Now What? Re-imagining Exercises

Redefine Your Identify

Big accomplishments (becoming a millionaire, a parent or a CEO) shift the core of our identity. Yes, titles and money don’t make or break a person but they do change us.

With blessings come new responsibilities and new possibilities. So, fundamentally, we need to upgrade how we view ourselves in order to embrace our new place in life. To do this we must leave behind old identities and develop new ones.

The exercise I like to give to my clients is to write down 5 ways they related to themselves before they hit the big goal. For example someone might say that before making their millions they used to relate to themselves as “needing to hustle” or “constantly needing to find the next big deal”.

Then, I ask them to assess each of the things that they wrote down and decide, given their new accomplishment, is it still necessary to relate to themselves in this way. If their response to an item they wrote down is a no, I ask them to define what they can replace that item with. For example: “needing to hustle” can turn to “enjoying the moment” or “focus on quality versus quantity”.

Reestablish Your Goals

Once a big milestone is met it is important to reestablish our desires and create new goals. You might be thinking: how come? If I am successful, can’t I just leave things as they are for now?

The answer is yes and no. Yes, you should certainly enjoy your big achievement and celebrate it. Yes, you should not rush to the next thing. But no, you should not wait until inspiration or the right time comes to reestablish your goals.

Human beings need expansion. If we are not careful, we can get bored or uninspired even by the huge success that we are basking in. It is important to always be in or planning your next expansion. Expansion is not simply about more of the same success, it is about growing in new directions that are important to you. Constantly pushing ourselves even if it is pushing ourselves to slow down is important for our well being and overall satisfaction.

The exercise I give my clients is to project out 10 years from now. You are at a big event: your birthday party, your daughter’s graduation, etc… Imagine you are having a conversation with a dear friend about what has happened over the last 10 years. What are you telling them about? What have you accomplished or experienced in your life over this time period that has made you feel proud?

This imaginary conversation holds the keys to your new desires and goals. Once you have crystallized the details of this future conversation, reverse engineer it — what steps do you have to take to get there?

Refill Your Time …Quickly & Wisely!

When we accomplish something big it can mean that we no longer need to do certain duties/activities. The elimination of duties creates space in our days. Space is wonderful as it gives us time to relax and think but it can also be daunting. Too much space/time is breeding ground for boredom and rumination, both of which significantly hurt motivation and productivity.

If you find yourself in this position, it is important to fill your time quickly and wisely. Setting up smart morning routines and doing activities that allow you to connect with others and either using a skill set (like your creative side) or developing a new one (like learning French) are paramount to elevating that empty feeling after a big success.

In addition, creating a schedule (and using a calendar) that has clear delineation of personal, passion, work (whatever that may be) and friend/family time will ensure that hours and days don’t bleed into one another and that you get everything you want done in a timely manner.

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These exercises are useful anytime there is a transition to a new stage in life. Keep them in your back pocket to support your evolution as you achieve great things.